11. People tell me all the time not to wear myself out, but I don’t know how, because people also tell me to not miss a single opportunity. Being motivated by others’ approval makes me feel bitter when I’m doing work and guilty when I’m not. That’s no fun.
12.When I am overwhelmed, I hide, because talking to people about my problems overwhelms me. More. I don’t know who to talk to, or what to say, or how to say it.
13. I feel safe with God partly because I feel shameful around others. I exploit his company a lot this way. But I know that I’m getting too big to always hide behind my Father’s leg.
14. When I am not driven by love, I am driven almost entirely by guilt and fear. It’s scary.
15. I wish I could just do everything and fix everything. Then I could relax. Then I wouldn’t have to wait for people to learn, because that takes a lot of patience and making mistakes, which bugs me.
16. I live to see people’s lives transform and to watch people’s hearts change, but I tend to have unrealistic expectations for how long it takes. And who has the power to make it happen.
17. Sometimes, I just wish people would tell me what’s wrong with me so I can fix it. Don’t wait for me to figure it out on my own, because I’m an oblivious person, and also because I am sometimes too scared to confront issues.
18. My biggest problems in life have existed within my own mind. I’ve never done drugs or had sex or gotten drunk, but I struggle with more addictions, lust, and insecurity than I could even recount. Hidden struggles are especially evasive because I can get away with them without myself finding out.
19. I hate small talk. I am no good at it, and it’s annoying, and sadly, it’s necessary.
20. I’ve always wanted to be different. I’m afraid to be different because I care so much about what people think, but when conformity is unfair and hurtful, I will oppose it.
You have enspired me to do forty of my own.