When I first saw the picture of the infamous dress, I was checking my phone at the end of Q Commons conference. The experience I had, I believe, was similar to many of yours. And it’s the peculiarity of this experience that made this image instantly receive more publicity than Miley, Kim, or Fifty Shades:
(source: http://google.com/trends/)
I want to believe it’s not just because this experience was entertaining, perplexing, or controversial in a fleeting sense. A lot of pictures are that. This one, I believe, hints at a deeper question that we, as melting-pot Americans, and we, as human beings, are desperate to answer.
Let me unpack that.
Judging from the evidence I’ve gathered, including my own firsthand experience, as well as the explained experience of others whose comments I’ve seen, I have come to this conclusion about what I call “#TheDress experience” — that is, the psychological processes that made this stupid image a phenomenon.
These three things inevitably happened:
- You immediately came to a conclusion about the dress’s color.
- You heard that there was a conclusion other than yours.
- You were utterly amazed that there was a conclusion other than yours.
Then, one of multiple of these thoughts came to mind:
- You wondered what the heck was wrong with the people who came to a different conclusion than you.
- You wondered what was wrong with you, especially if you were the only one who saw it as you did.
- You wondered what was wrong with the picture itself, and what technological, neuro-sensory, or otherwise scientific process brought about such deceit or illusion.
Then, optionally, this happened:
I) You made an attempt to see the dress as if the other conclusion were true.
And finally,
i) You wondered, regardless of what everyone said around you, and what your own voice said inside of you… what color the dress really was.
Was I right? Or at least on the right trail?
Well. Here is my proposition about a sociologically-conditioned way that we think,
evidenced by this example:
We intentionally confuse true/false with fact/opinion.
It’s easier to call a falsehood an “opinion” than what it is: “wrong.”
It’s more fair to call an unjust culture “different” than try to prove an ultimate source of morality.
It’s safer to say “I think” about our convictions than to have to actually find a sound and valid basis for them.
There is a way of thinking we acquire in our pluralistic society
that reduces offense,
but solves nothing.
There is a way of thinking we acquire in our pluralistic society
that allows us to all feel right
without really honestly knowing what is right.
There is a way of thinking we acquire in our pluralistic society
that is comfortable
and shallow
and confusing
and actually far more painful
to ourselves
and those around us
than we would like to admit,
or perhaps
than we even realize,
because it’s not comfortable to do so.
We like to evade absolute truth because relativism seems more peaceful, more socially acceptable, and more easily blended into our (and everyone else’s) current assumptions.
We favor relativism over absolutism because making any kind of universal claim about reality means confronting thing we don’t want to deal with.
We’re melting-pot Americans, and we take the easy way out
to get along with our neighbors,
in a distant, polite sense,
because we once tried confronting our differences
and it didn’t turn out well.
I think that’s why #TheDress was such a hit with us. It was that rare time when, for once, there was a controversy, and nobody had to admit they were wrong.
We could all be right about it. What you believe is true, AND what I believe is true.
Of course… people who fight over this are stupid, because, well,
they’re wrong
about the fact that
everybody, is, in fact, right.
(…But, doesn’t that make the above conclusion, by definition, wrong?)
We like that we were all right about something, and yet wrong at the same time.
And yet, there was this unanswered question inside us all.
Yes, the dress could be perceived as both and… but in reality,
the dress had an actual color.
And if you noticed, we were concerned less about
feeling right among our friends
or even seeing the dress in a different way
than truly knowing what color the dress
truly was,
in all reality.
No one cared as much how to see it a different way, as what color the dress really was, in reality.
“Reality.”
This is a word that has gained every meaning, and thus lost all meaning, in our language.
Much like “love,” or “epic,” or “awesome,” or “fact.”
I recently watched a talk by a nonreligious, spiritual man who used the word “reality” interchangeably with the term “self-image.” “If your reality is weak, then people will see you as weak. The strongest reality always wins in a social situation.” Granted, this man had good points. But my point? We are out of touch with reality.. We are so afraid of making statements about reality that we have softened and blurred our language to make it more digestible.
As a writer, this bugs the heck out of me.
It’s hard to strike someone to the heart with truth
when the only words at my disposal are dull, un-authoritative spoons.
So what color is the dress? In truth?
In truth, the image of the dress is ambiguous.
In truth, it is perfectly valid to see the dress as white and gold.
In truth, it is perfectly valid to see the dress as blue and black.
You start out with an assumption. If you take the time to, you can surrender that assumption and see the dress from another view.
But in truth, the dress is blue and black.
I can understand why “white and gold” believers believed in “white and gold.”
But they were wrong.
(I was one of them.)
I eventually took the time to understand why “blue and black” believers believed in “blue and black.”
They turned out to be right.
I’m glad I took the time to investigate what I assumed to be true
to find the real truth.
Now. We can’t do this with everything. By nature, we were created in such a way that we take mental shortcuts. It’s called “heuristics.” It’s a psychological phenomenon.
This can be good, like when we wake up and assume gravity will be there. This saves us time in the morning so we don’t have to worry whether or not every drop that comes out of shower faucets will, indeed, fall into the drain, and stay there when we leave for school or work.
This can also be bad, like when we encounter a certain person, who happens to believe in “blue and black,” and they are very mean to us, and so we never trust a “blue and black” believer again.
It’s funny how the shortcuts we take will sometimes help us to be more in touch with reality.
It’s funny how our prideful minds
and the illogical trails we like to carve deeper and deeper
will take us further and further from this offensive and necessary and amazing thing called
reality,
whatever that is.
Mere rivalry between the things that seem clearly black or white
will simply leave us with grudges and greys.
It’s not until we dare to venture into the greys, though,
that we will truly learn the truth.
It’s not until we seek the truth
that we will be able to let go of our grudges
and seek truth
not just to prove everyone we were right,
but because we’re willing to sell the field of our pride
to find the pearly treasure of truth.
Dare to look past your assumptions.
Dare to see where someone’s coming from.
It doesn’t matter so much who’s right
as who’s at stake.
It doesn’t matter so much who’s right
as what’s right.
And it wouldn’t matter what’s right if
letting people live in illusion
was a loving thing to do.
This is why I care what you believe.
I don’t care if I’m right.
In fact, I’ll be the first to consider where you’re coming from,
to walk the trails you walk,
to show you mine.
(Here they are. Thank you for walking with me thus far.)
When I first saw the picture of #TheDress,
I was at Q Commons, a conference about advancing the common good in the South Denver community
(and 60+ other communities around the nation and world in which this conference took place).
One phrase that stuck with me and many people, according to social media analytics, was a quote by a speaker at the conference named Malcom Gladwell. He said:
“How you carry out your ideas is as important as the ideas themselves.”
If you are a “blue and black” believer,
you might have the right answer. But it doesn’t mean you can be prideful and bigoted about it. And simply telling people they’re wrong is the least helpful in getting them to see the dress from your (more correct) view. Learn to see it their way, then find out how to get back home from there.
If you are a “white and gold” believer,
I was there, too. I watched the argument. It was not a righteous argument.
The “blue and black” believers were right about THE question, but they were wrong about how they carried out their ideas. And not that I’m a “blue and black” believer, I apologize on their behalf.
But just as I have considered your colors —
indeed, I have seen them, too —
consider mine,
because regardless of who says what, and how, and why,
you’re curious.
And you deserve to know the truth.
Now the question is not, “What color is the dress?” but rather, (“Was this really a blog post about #TheDress?”)
“Do you really want to know the answer?”
(Proverbs 18:2)
And are you ready to hear it?
(Matthew 16:1-12)
And once you hear it, will you be unashamed in speaking it?
(Ephesians 4:15, 2 Corinthians 5:20; 9:19-23; 2 Timothy 4:2)
