When it comes to scheduling classes in college, you have what is called “flexibility.” This means that you have no idea what to expect in your schedule since classes are offered anywhere between 8 am (5 am if you’re in ROTC) and 9 pm. Because classes required for your major often provide limited options, this “flexibility” is often an illusion.
Is there a good method to scheduling classes, I might ask myself rhetorically? Well, I would say that it depends on your personality, genetics, IQ, ethnicity, hair color, callous-unemotional traits (can you tell I’m a psych major?) … and, of course, God’s sovereignty.
I will now present to you some all of the options I could think of, or at least that I felt like writing about. The following schedules are categorized based on course load, class density, and time consistency.
The Roller Coaster Schedule:
This schedule is arranged so that you alternate between 4 or more classes and 2 or less classes every day. To be eligible for this title, you must have at least three of your classes back-to-back on your busy days. This schedule, contrary to what you might think, is not like a roller coaster: it is not exhilarating. It’s not fun. It does not go by really fast. But it’s still probably not bad enough to make you nauseous. Rather, it’s more like alternating between riding a roller coaster on your free days (which can be either really fun or really boring) and then just waiting a really long time on the days when you do have class. If you have five classes in a row like me, for example, you must eat lunch in class every other day and feel awkward chomping down your meal while everyone else is trying to listen to your teacher talk about things you’ve most likely already learned. Just like waiting in line for a roller coaster, however, you can try to make the day of classes more interesting. I suggest doing one or more of the following: text your mom during class, work on other homework that you probably will never turn in anyway, or bring Sudoku and crossword puzzles even though you fail at them.
The Consistent Schedule:
There is debate as to whether this type of schedule exists, but hypothetically it consists of a fairly equal amount of classes at fairly equal times of the day. If you have a light credit load, you have a lot of time on your hands and can fill your schedule up with clubs, activities, jobs, internships, or drooling over StumbleUpon. Your day might remind you of what it was like in high school to always wake up at the same time, except of course that you would never dream of going to classes for seven hours a day again in your entire life (how the heck did we do it?). If you have this schedule, you’re probably an upperclassman or an honors student, because you were actually able to register before all of the classes were thoroughly picked over. Congrats. And if you are an underclassmen and not a nerd, alas. It’s likely that you are left only with classes at ungodly hours of the night or morning.
The Freaking Lab Schedule:
If you have the Freaking Lab Schedule, you almost qualify for the Consistent Schedule, except the fact that you have at least one lab at an ungodly time. If it is a chemistry lab, you most likely despise it. If it is biology, it will not be so bad, and might even interest you enough to actually try on your homework. If it’s another lab, well, I couldn’t tell you because I haven’t heard enough about them. I added the modifier “freaking” because lab periods are so freaking long – literally three hours, which is 300% of the time you spend in a normal lecture class. Personal Computing lab does not count as a lab, however, since it is only one hour on your official schedule and between fifteen and zero minutes in real life.
The Acne Schedule:
Within this schedule, classes are arranged in no particular order across the week. Just like zits, they pop up and random times of the day when you least expect them, and they are quite annoying. Because of the awkward gaps between classes, there a couple things you just can’t do: find a long block of time to study, remember your schedule, and get a job. You must find random places on campus to hang around throughout the day since you don’t have time to go back to your room and get settled or get anything done. You have to turn down plenty of invitations to events, and when you finally get home, it feels like it’s been a really long day, when in all reality you haven’t gotten much work done (much less had time for a social life). So at the end of the day, you just want to collapse onto your bed. But you can’t : you need to go apply benzoyl peroxide.
I hope that this guide gives you a better understanding of the inevitable pros and cons of each type of schedule. Now that you know of this inevitability, I hope that, when you register for classes next semester and find yourself discontented, you will not blame yourself, your gender, your dominant hand, the number of fingers you have, or genetics, and thus avoid added guilt and stress. You will have enough as it is. And besides, stress can cause acne.
