(This post was written with all due respect to C.S. Lewis, one of my favorite authors, imitating the style of his book, The Screwtape Letters, in which a demon named Screwtape coaches his nephew, Wormwood, on how to effectively tempt his human “patient.”)

Dear Wormwood,

I’ve been thinking, and I’ve discovered some tactics that might help you with the man you’re trying to take away from God’s army to join your side.  They’ve definitely worked on me before, and a lot of others around me too.

Sincerely,
Megan Baatz

Tactics to disarm the Patient:

  1. Make him believe his problem is not big enough to do anything about.
  2. Make him believe his problem is too big to do anything about.
  3. Convince him that he can fix his problem without any help.
  4. Once he realizes the last one is a lie, watch him give up.
  5. Repeat.
  6. Once he gets tired of this cycle, watch him accept the problem as an intrinsic part of himself, as if it were a part of his own body.

Tactics to defeat the Patient:

  1. Make him believe his Enemy doesn’t exist.
  2. Make him believe another enemy exists that really doesn’t.
  3. Convince him that Hope doesn’t exist.
  4. Convince of that another hope exists that really doesn’t.
  5. Turn his enemies into his friends.
  6. Turn his friends into his enemies.

Tactics to take the Patient captive:

  1. Use something insignificant to block his view of the Light.
  2. Blind him with something shiny.
  3. Throw the shiny thing into a place he would never otherwise go.
  4. Don’t worry about handcuffs.  Let him walk into the prison on his own.
  5. Don’t worry about shutting the door.  He’ll just sit there and play.
  6. Laugh at him as he makes the prison his new home.