Hey guys. Stopping in for an update.
I admit some things:
- I have been writing. Promise.
- BUTT I am frustrated with the interwebs. And marketing in the social media age in general. It’s like trying to herd ADD bunnies. So I haven’t been publishing much. And I probably won’t advertise this one very well because, quite frankly, I’d rather spend my time actually writing than trying to get everybody’s attention.
- I love you guys, and no, I’m not saying you’re ADD bunnies. I’m saying, isn’t there a better way to do this getting-my-writing-to-you thing? And this growing your organization thing?
So how’s business, Meg?
- I’m so, so busy. Everyone says “That’s good,” and I’m like “Yeah,” out loud, and inside I’m like, I can’t remember who I am.
- Most of these days this week I have felt not like a human, but a slow, slow machine. I’m not efficient at what I do yet. So I work a ton, and I still find I’m behind.
- God gave me an awesome, experienced, like-minded business partner, and too many client prospects to handle (which everyone says is a good thing). And honestly, my company really could take off. But I’m really scared. And working for yourself gets lonely some days.
Stuff God is saying to me these days.
These may not connect for you, but they do for me. Maybe you’ll resonate with some. Maybe he’s saying similar things to you, because, well, he’s the same guy as himself.
1. “You know, you can’t do this alone and get very far.”
I told my friends this week I was that kid in group projects who didn’t trust anybody. So while you were at home not doing work, I was staying up until 2 in the morning making PowerPoints about turtles and crying. I didn’t know how to do it any other way.
To withhold opportunities and even sharing some of my skills with people eager to learn is incredibly selfish. So, I hired an intern. Which was harder for me to do than to work 60 hours a week. But I need to learn to trust people. Because cool things happen when you expect something of someone, and raise the bar for them, and believe in them, and give them permission to shine. They rise to the occasion.
2. “I don’t care so much the stuff you move around in your circumstances. I care whether y’all are with me.”
I tend to see myself as a cog to get thrown into the machine to make it run better. And it’s a very good machine! But is the machine for the people, or the people for the machine? Is government for the people, or people for government? Is money a tool to use, or does it use you and turn you into a tool?
There are great things to be done here. Gosh, there are. There is a lot of work to do. For social justice. For the way our society thinks about each other. God could throw food on the table from Heaven (and He has. For 40 years straight for an entire nomadic country.) But there’s something bigger here than just accomplishing goals and tasks. And that bugs the heck out of me. But hey, its not my universe, and somehow, fleshing out relationships and needing other people and feeling pain and fighting for something is better than being self-sufficient and numb and utopian.
If the Israelites were just with God in the beginning, they wouldn’t have needed manna for 40 years. They would have been out of the desert in 11 days. The best thing for society is for you to be with God.
3. “Your need to be different and to impress people is stealing away your soul.”
There are good things about striving to go above and beyond. But if I’m doing it out of insecurity or fear, which I am, it sucks. It’s easy to want to impress people around me because I love them. And I want them to love me. Well, maybe they won’t always show their love back in the way I wish they would. But should I let that foil my love and make me bitter? That’s stupid. I don’t want that.
4. “I gave you grace to do that thing in that season. Now I’m giving you grace to do a different thing in a different season.”
I sometimes will feel like I got myself down a stupid path. Like, “How did I get myself here, God? I thought I was obeying you. Was I wrong this whole time? Why didn’t you tell me?!?!” And then I get angry that He didn’t just tell me the right answer from the start, when I was trying to figure out if it was the right answer to begin with.
But honestly, I think I did choose a good thing. He honored my work in that arena. But now He wants to move me out of something and move other people into it. I don’t have to feel guilty about that. It’s not that I’m not good enough to keep doing this. It’s that he’s regrouping an army that is growing and growing.
Maybe I learned to swim in a certain ocean in one season. To consider a certain way of thinking and acting and living, to relate and identify with Babylon. It wasn’t bad, because, now, I can build a better bridge. But a bridge to something. It was good that I got to hang out in one place, and hang out on the bridge, but I won’t lose my connection over there because I’m now here.
And lastly, I have a new song I’m obsessed with.
(Well, it’s a year old, but whatever. Check out the full album on iTunes here.)
I went on a walk with a friend this week, and this song is dedicated to that friend. Friend, you’re on the right track. Please don’t think He isn’t on his way to get to you. The command wasn’t just to seek, but to keep seeking (Matthew 7:7). Someone can’t give you a ride if you’re not looking out your window for a car. You don’t have to walk all the miles back. Your work is simple and possible: to wait and trust.
This is also dedicated to another friend who told me about hollow chocolate bunnies. Friend, I don’t know how he will meet you here. But I do know the promise was, the empty would be filled (Matthew 5:6). And also, that you’d be thoroughly known and completely loved, all the days of your life, deeper than the air knows your lungs (Psalm 20:27).
This is finally dedicated to myself. Can I do that? Well, I’m going to. Friend, Ephesians 2:5-6 bugs you. If you’re seated in the heavenly realms with Jesus, if you’re already righteous in him, why is it sometimes so hard to feel that way? There are good reasons, but guess what. They’re all temporary. Only what’s unshakeable with remain. One day you’ll see who you are, and live that. The promise wasn’t that you’d know everything, or even know yourself. It was that you’d be known, by someone who is really good at knowing things (1 Corinthians 13:12). (For more on where to find yourself, See Item #2.)
Worlds Apart // Seven Lions
I keep reaching
But you’re not reaching back
You’re not reaching back
Trying to get in
fight you through the cracks
fight you through the cracks
Guess I’m trying to say
It hurts to feel this far
A million miles away
Next to me
Well if you’re seated right here,
Why are we worlds apart?
If you’re so near
Why do you feel this far?
Why are we worlds apart?
We’re not out of range, you know
I play among the stars and then fall so low
I try to make sense as I go
Cause nothing is ever just so
