Dear Jesus,

I’ve been working for you a lot.  Doing chores around your house.  It’s like you’re my boss or something…  I kind of dread it, and secretly want to do other things besides being with you.  I feel lonely.

But I don’t want to be busy.  I want to be in love.  Like when we first met.  Let’s get to know each other again.  I’ve missed you.  Pick me up and spin me in circles like you used to.  I might get dizzy and confused, but I always feel completely known and loved whenever I let you hold me.  Your love is always an adventure, but never what I expect.  It’s dangerous and risky but also safe because You’re holding my hand the whole time.

I whisper my secrets to you.  You whisper yours to me, too.  I’m not good at keeping your secrets.  But it’s mainly because you tell me it’s okay to be real with people, and anything that’s hidden will eventually be made known anyway.  Which is scary but also comforting.  You know it’s not good to just let shame shove your dreams into a closet.  You’re better at relating to me than anyone else, and when I’m afraid you’ll judge me, you understand my weaknesses instead, and just accept me.

I forget who I am sometimes.  When I’m with you, I can be confused at first, but I start to get a better idea of who I am.  You’ve always known me better than I know myself.  I find myself in you, but at the same time, I know I’m not you.  I’m different and unique, because that’s how you made me.  I guess it’s just, you bring out the best in me, like the sunset does with the ashes these days (the world’s been burning and groaning).

It’s hard to be vulnerable, to let you take care of me and my friends.  A lot of times I think I have to be strong and in control, but you’re already strong and in control, and you take better care of people than I do.  So all of my imperfect efforts would just overlap with your perfect ones.  Like putting a smaller, ripped patch on top of a perfectly good patch in my ripped jeans.

Well, I’m going to bed.  Let’s hang out soon.  I don’t know what we could do, but you always have the best ideas.  Surprise me!  Can’t wait to see you again.

Always yours,
Megs